Keep calm and going shopping

I just watching his (ya...exactly my ex boyfriend)wedding day via twitter..ya our lovely best friends reported completed with their photos...ya my ex boyfriend..AG getting married...so..whats up!!!i just blame my self,why I ever been in love with him...but how do I know??when I was with him..he's just nothing...just an ordinary boy...but now...look at him...he's become a very famous doctor in His country and marry a very rich girl...*sigh*...I was totally awful on that day..i hate my twitter...but my eyes cant see other things...just see my notebook....so I planned something :SHOPPING,this idea just come and totally change all my schedule on that day..but I thot it's very great idea. My friend,i called her Lady diva said if her in low condition like that..she's just went out to some boutiques and spent her money there. But...thats not my style...so...just went out to the mall with my best friend.What actually r u looking for here?????i just come and go..to one booth to other booth...buy something that I dont think I need it...When my cash on my purse are limited..I just quit...no I dont want use my credit card...I just wondered how can I do this stupid thing...I just almost spend all of my salary for one month..ooooopssss....and see what on my shopping bag: some tshirt (fine I can wear it),short pants (totally 5..and same brands different colours),2 stilletos (fine...),sun glasses(fine)..and parfume...(guess what...its his parfume...sucks)....oh..God...so stupid..I just spend money to something useless...
Tululinit!!!an sms from him....(Oh my God):'honey how are you today?give me the reason why you didnt come on my wedding day?'....what!!!!!hoooooohhhhh....and the reason cause i am going shopping stupid boy...I got a heart attack and no...nooo...nooo no more tears for him...I hate this...
Let me forget about him...so how bout the other shops...i dont care bout the money...dont care bout you..just care bout shopping...hikkssss....hikssss....

Love in a life

Love in a life

Room after room,
I hunt the house through
We inhabit together.
Heart, fear nothing, for, heart, thou shalt find her....
Next time, herself! not the trouble behind her
Left in the curtain, the couch's perfume!
As she brushed it, the cornice-wreath blossomed anew:
Yon looking-glass gleaned at the wave of her feather.

Yet the day wears,
And door succeeds door;
I try the fresh fortune
Range the wide house from the wing to the centre.
Still the same chance! She goes out as I enter.
Spend my whole day in the quest--who cares?
But 'tis twilight, you see with such suites to explore,
Such closets to search, such alcoves to importune!

A farewell

A FAREWELL

With all my will..
But much against my heart
We two now part
My very dear

Our solace is the sad road lies so clear
It needs no art
With faint,averted feet
And many a tear

In our opposed path to persevere
Go thou to east,I west
We will not stay

There's any hope it is so far away
But,O,my best
When the one darling of our widow head

The nursling grief
Is dead...
And no dews,blur our eyes
To see the peach-bloom come in evening skies

Perchance we may
Where now this night is day
And even through faith of still averted feet
Making full circle of our banishment
Amazed meet;

The bitter journey to the bourne so sweet
Seasoning the termless feast of our content
With tears of recognition never dry....

Love and death

LOVE AND DEATH....

Shall we, too, rise forgetful from our sleep
And shall my soul that lies within your hand
Remember nothing as the blowing sand
Forget the palm where long blue shadow creep
When winds along the darkened desert sweep??

Or would it still remember tho' it spanned
A thousand heavens, while the planets fanned
The vacant ether with the voices deep?
Soul of my soul, no word shall be forgot
Nor yet alone,beloved shall we see...

The desolation of extinguished suns nor fear
The void where thro' our planet runs
For still together shall we go and not
Fare forth alone to front eternity

Losing.....

Dapat berita duka dari teman teman kuliah dulu. Salah seorang teman baik,yang kukenal baik meninggalkan kami semua. Dia termasuk salah satu anggota komunitas nyentrik Sanata Dharma,orang orang nyeleneh...ciri khas yang nggak pernah hilang senyumnya and vespa merahnya..khas banget...sedih banget..rasanya masih ingat waktu sama sama dulu..nongkrong dibawah tangga kampus..ketawa ketiwi...saling cela..saling bantu kalo kehabisan duit..biasa terjadi pada anak kost di akhir bulan :). Itulah kita tidak akan pernah tahu apa yang akan terjadi pada kita..hari ini kita berbahagia besok kita bisa saja bersedih..minggu minggu entah kenapa bertubi tubi berita sedih datang padaku. Bertepatan berita obet bertepatan gempa besar di Padang,dan kali ini memakan banyak sekali korban..yang sudah terdata lebih dari 1000 nyawa melayang..belum lagi yang masih terperangkap di dalam reruntuhan gedung..sama sekali belum bisa tersentuh. Entah apa selanjutnya??? semua ini membuat aku harus bisa instropeksi diri,bahwa semua ada batasnya..aku tidak bisa melawan kuasa yang berada di atasku...hmmm...losing someone memang berat..apalagi kita pernah menjalani hari hari indah bersamanya,mempunyai kenangan baik dan buruk bersamanya. Siapapun tidak pernah mau merasa kehilangan...tapi semuanya ada batasnya....we have limited in everything....

YOU ARE MEANS NOTHING

Sadness...
Why always come after the happiness?
Tears drops...
Why always come after the laughter?
Hating...
Why always come after you loving someone?

I feel so sad that you leave me
After I feeling so happy that I can be with you...
Tears drop when I cry just come when you were hurting me..
After I always laugh when you were teasing me?
Hating you just when I knew that I am not the only one for you after loving you so much more than everything....

I don't wanna feel the happiness
I don't wanna laugh anymore
And I don't wanna loving anymore
If I have to got the sadness, tears drops and hating you as the rewards...

You are mean nothing to me now
Even that I really need you now
I don't wanna fell for the second time
Fell into the same mistakes...

Happines means I am free now
Laughter means I can live without you now...
Loving means not having you now...

YOU ARE MEANS NOTHING TO ME......

Hampa.....

hampa sekali rasanya hari ini...aku nggak tahu kenapa dia bisa setega itu...berkata akan meninggalkanku...ya Tuhan...rasanya seperti melayang... Hampa...seperti tanpa pegangan...pada hari yang sama seorang ibu..yang darahnya mengalir dalam darahku...memberikan rasa yang menyakitkan teramat dalam..sebesar apa dosaku...sampai harus menerima seberat ini...semuanya serba salah..aku perlu pegangan untuk aku bertahan dalam keterpurukan ini...sekuat apapun aku bertahan..aku pasti tidak akan bisa bertahan lebih lama..bantu aku supaya kuat...
Keegoisan ini jualah yang membuat aku menyakiti diri sendiri. Perasaan ingin selalu dihargai membuat aku lupa menghargai diri orang lain..aku terpuruk dalam buaian ini...buaian keegoisan yang membutakan aku...
aku tidak akan pernah siap dalam keterikatan ini...keterikatan yang membuat aku menjadi seorang egois..seorang yang lupa pada kodrat hakikat keterikatan...
Melupakan kebebasan yang indah sangat tidak mudah...berjuang untuk diri sendiri tanpa peduli pada yang mengikat kita...kebebasan yang menjadi dambaan setiap insan...berakhir dengan keterikatan yang indah pada awalnya...dan menjadi belenggu untuk yang tidak bisa memahaminya...entah berada pada fase mana aku sekarang??berada dalam kebimbangan antara kebebasan dan keterikatan...kenapa kebebasan yang didambakan begitu saja terlepas tergantikan oleh keterikatan yang indah....
Menerima sakit ini...menikmati rasa sakit adalah fase dalam hidup ini,yang mau tidak mau tetap harus aku nikmati...mereka adalah orang-orang tercintaku...yang menjadi alasan aku untuk menikmati rasa sakit ini....rasa yang akan selalu datang dan begitu indah pada saat siksaan itu datang...
Biarkan aku dan rasa sakit itu menjadi sepasang sahabat karib...untuk mencintainya dan menyayanginya..karena dengan begitu aku akan tetap selalu mencintai sang pemberi rasa.....

Dont say u love me

never say i love you
if you are really don't care
never talk about feelings
if they are not really there
never hold me
if you are gonna break my heart
never say you are going to
if you don't plan to start
never look into my eyes
if all you do is a lie
never say hi..
if you are really mean goodbye

never say take care
if you are never care to me

how could you say that
if you don't really mean it...

just make me cry
then i will try to hate you....

just hurt me
then i will try to forget u
then say you will try
never say forever
cause forever makes me cry...

F O R E V E R

I laugh....
I love....
I hope...
I try...
I hurt...
I need...
I fear...
I cry...
and I knew....
you do the same thing too
so we're really not different
me and you

we waste time looking for the perfect lover
instead of creating the perfect love
if it is meant to be our hearts will find each other when we meet
and if our heart melt together
so will our bodies and souls too...

you make me complete
you make me that the whole world loving me
together we make us to be ONE SOUL

i love you so much...
and i may never be able to express my love to u

its all written down in our lifelines
its written down inside our heart
you and i were just made this feeling
to feel love each other

http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

there used to be a grey tower in the sea..... then you became the light on the dark side of me.... just always stand beside me not in front of me to holding me to guiding me you don't care what did they telling you bout me you just keep holding my hand to holding me to guiding me... even when i said that i don't care bout you you just stand there beside me and keep beside me to holding me to guiding me... even that it's hurt you so much you just stand beside me to holding me to guiding me... even when i need someone suddenly you came to me just stand beside me to holding me to guiding me when i was crying you came and give your shoulder to me to cry on it and you just stand beside me to holding me to guiding me you always understand me just the way i am you are never get mad you never get angry never leave me if i was hurt you just stand beside me to holding me to guiding me you just love me you just care bout me you just always thinkin' bout me nobody else let me learning how to love just the way you are just like you are thank you for loving me....

just the waY you are

there used to be a grey tower in the sea, then you became the light on the dark side of me, i compare you you to a kiss from the rose, do the grey the more i get of you....you're the simplest one i have known and the purest one i'll own.
anyone who ever loved could look at me and you know that i love you.
anyone who ever dreamed could look at me
and they are know that i dreamed bout you
anyone who had a heart would take me in his arms and love me
i believe that you couldn't really have a heart to hurt me.