Losing.....

Dapat berita duka dari teman teman kuliah dulu. Salah seorang teman baik,yang kukenal baik meninggalkan kami semua. Dia termasuk salah satu anggota komunitas nyentrik Sanata Dharma,orang orang nyeleneh...ciri khas yang nggak pernah hilang senyumnya and vespa merahnya..khas banget...sedih banget..rasanya masih ingat waktu sama sama dulu..nongkrong dibawah tangga kampus..ketawa ketiwi...saling cela..saling bantu kalo kehabisan duit..biasa terjadi pada anak kost di akhir bulan :). Itulah kita tidak akan pernah tahu apa yang akan terjadi pada kita..hari ini kita berbahagia besok kita bisa saja bersedih..minggu minggu entah kenapa bertubi tubi berita sedih datang padaku. Bertepatan berita obet bertepatan gempa besar di Padang,dan kali ini memakan banyak sekali korban..yang sudah terdata lebih dari 1000 nyawa melayang..belum lagi yang masih terperangkap di dalam reruntuhan gedung..sama sekali belum bisa tersentuh. Entah apa selanjutnya??? semua ini membuat aku harus bisa instropeksi diri,bahwa semua ada batasnya..aku tidak bisa melawan kuasa yang berada di atasku...hmmm...losing someone memang berat..apalagi kita pernah menjalani hari hari indah bersamanya,mempunyai kenangan baik dan buruk bersamanya. Siapapun tidak pernah mau merasa kehilangan...tapi semuanya ada batasnya....we have limited in everything....

YOU ARE MEANS NOTHING

Sadness...
Why always come after the happiness?
Tears drops...
Why always come after the laughter?
Hating...
Why always come after you loving someone?

I feel so sad that you leave me
After I feeling so happy that I can be with you...
Tears drop when I cry just come when you were hurting me..
After I always laugh when you were teasing me?
Hating you just when I knew that I am not the only one for you after loving you so much more than everything....

I don't wanna feel the happiness
I don't wanna laugh anymore
And I don't wanna loving anymore
If I have to got the sadness, tears drops and hating you as the rewards...

You are mean nothing to me now
Even that I really need you now
I don't wanna fell for the second time
Fell into the same mistakes...

Happines means I am free now
Laughter means I can live without you now...
Loving means not having you now...

YOU ARE MEANS NOTHING TO ME......

Hampa.....

hampa sekali rasanya hari ini...aku nggak tahu kenapa dia bisa setega itu...berkata akan meninggalkanku...ya Tuhan...rasanya seperti melayang... Hampa...seperti tanpa pegangan...pada hari yang sama seorang ibu..yang darahnya mengalir dalam darahku...memberikan rasa yang menyakitkan teramat dalam..sebesar apa dosaku...sampai harus menerima seberat ini...semuanya serba salah..aku perlu pegangan untuk aku bertahan dalam keterpurukan ini...sekuat apapun aku bertahan..aku pasti tidak akan bisa bertahan lebih lama..bantu aku supaya kuat...
Keegoisan ini jualah yang membuat aku menyakiti diri sendiri. Perasaan ingin selalu dihargai membuat aku lupa menghargai diri orang lain..aku terpuruk dalam buaian ini...buaian keegoisan yang membutakan aku...
aku tidak akan pernah siap dalam keterikatan ini...keterikatan yang membuat aku menjadi seorang egois..seorang yang lupa pada kodrat hakikat keterikatan...
Melupakan kebebasan yang indah sangat tidak mudah...berjuang untuk diri sendiri tanpa peduli pada yang mengikat kita...kebebasan yang menjadi dambaan setiap insan...berakhir dengan keterikatan yang indah pada awalnya...dan menjadi belenggu untuk yang tidak bisa memahaminya...entah berada pada fase mana aku sekarang??berada dalam kebimbangan antara kebebasan dan keterikatan...kenapa kebebasan yang didambakan begitu saja terlepas tergantikan oleh keterikatan yang indah....
Menerima sakit ini...menikmati rasa sakit adalah fase dalam hidup ini,yang mau tidak mau tetap harus aku nikmati...mereka adalah orang-orang tercintaku...yang menjadi alasan aku untuk menikmati rasa sakit ini....rasa yang akan selalu datang dan begitu indah pada saat siksaan itu datang...
Biarkan aku dan rasa sakit itu menjadi sepasang sahabat karib...untuk mencintainya dan menyayanginya..karena dengan begitu aku akan tetap selalu mencintai sang pemberi rasa.....

Dont say u love me

never say i love you
if you are really don't care
never talk about feelings
if they are not really there
never hold me
if you are gonna break my heart
never say you are going to
if you don't plan to start
never look into my eyes
if all you do is a lie
never say hi..
if you are really mean goodbye

never say take care
if you are never care to me

how could you say that
if you don't really mean it...

just make me cry
then i will try to hate you....

just hurt me
then i will try to forget u
then say you will try
never say forever
cause forever makes me cry...

F O R E V E R

I laugh....
I love....
I hope...
I try...
I hurt...
I need...
I fear...
I cry...
and I knew....
you do the same thing too
so we're really not different
me and you

we waste time looking for the perfect lover
instead of creating the perfect love
if it is meant to be our hearts will find each other when we meet
and if our heart melt together
so will our bodies and souls too...

you make me complete
you make me that the whole world loving me
together we make us to be ONE SOUL

i love you so much...
and i may never be able to express my love to u

its all written down in our lifelines
its written down inside our heart
you and i were just made this feeling
to feel love each other

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there used to be a grey tower in the sea..... then you became the light on the dark side of me.... just always stand beside me not in front of me to holding me to guiding me you don't care what did they telling you bout me you just keep holding my hand to holding me to guiding me... even when i said that i don't care bout you you just stand there beside me and keep beside me to holding me to guiding me... even that it's hurt you so much you just stand beside me to holding me to guiding me... even when i need someone suddenly you came to me just stand beside me to holding me to guiding me when i was crying you came and give your shoulder to me to cry on it and you just stand beside me to holding me to guiding me you always understand me just the way i am you are never get mad you never get angry never leave me if i was hurt you just stand beside me to holding me to guiding me you just love me you just care bout me you just always thinkin' bout me nobody else let me learning how to love just the way you are just like you are thank you for loving me....

just the waY you are

there used to be a grey tower in the sea, then you became the light on the dark side of me, i compare you you to a kiss from the rose, do the grey the more i get of you....you're the simplest one i have known and the purest one i'll own.
anyone who ever loved could look at me and you know that i love you.
anyone who ever dreamed could look at me
and they are know that i dreamed bout you
anyone who had a heart would take me in his arms and love me
i believe that you couldn't really have a heart to hurt me.